Brotherly Love

There was a time in my life when I was a racist; I looked back on the deleterious actions of my adolescence and believed African American culture had negatively affected me.  I had joined gangs because I had been so influenced by the rappers that I admired.  And in gangs I almost threw away my chance at a really bright future.  During my late twenties, it seemed clear, that I would have been a better person if not for the influence of African American culture.  And this animosity endured until I could see the value in my struggles—and thus the value in the path that led to these struggles. 

Being in a gang was about joining together with a group of people I had love for, and showing this love by abandoning self-interest.  This was a show of love which would endure to have a profound influence on my soul.  When I came to a place where I appreciated that my friends made sacrifices to be with me, as friends, I realized how valuable the struggles which resulted from my delinquency were.  And this was a lesson in love which, now, has impacted how I perceive kinship and family.  Love must be tested in order for it to have resilience and this resiliency of love is one of the most important building blocks of character.  

Racism is the misconception that other people’s value as human beings is contingent on the color of their skin.  It results in hate.  But hate itself is only love without resiliency and empathy—that is, we hate that which we lack the empathy to have kinship for.  For a time, I considered African American culture to be a malignant influence to the person I had become; I was not strong enough to feel kinship for the people I faulted for my own actions.

I’m embarrassed to say that the lesson in brotherly love which I now so benefit from was so hard earned.  But I’m equally proud to have been able to have cultivated friendships with people of all races because these people led me to better understand loving companionship.  The contribution they made to my understanding of what it is to be human has far outlasted the struggles I faced in early adulthood.  And for that reason, I have learned to respect and admire the contributions they have made to the person I have become.  Their love and friendship taught me how to be a man.

Lovingness between friends stays with a person—and for those whose friends have stood by them—they are to pass on that love as compassion and empathy towards all people.  It is through intimate connection between friends that compassion for mankind is kindled.

My friends have a legacy in my heart; they have helped me grow and become more dedicated to leading a rich existence.  Giving back to them is necessary to the integrity I have as a human being.  I must be the person now who they all saw that I could be when I was just emerging into adulthood.  Here and now, I have new friends, and I must take what I’ve gained from past relationships, and use that well of lovingness to endow these people with the compassion passed onto me by old friends. 

Standing with friends only to better be friends is the greatest act of compassion I know.  I learned this by being with people who would follow me through hard times—and not give up seeing the good in me.  For a while, I lost sense of how rewarding some of my past friendships were; I gave up on the dignity which comes from knowing no greater thing than loyalty.  And this lapse in judgment saw me slide backwards towards having animosity towards a whole race of people.  But this could not last—because there is too much good which people of all races have created in my life.